Pisma
Strana 1
U mojoj porodicnoj kuci su ziveli sve sami predivni ljudi. Mogli smo da imamo dobar zivot.. ali… nesto se dogodilo: velika katasrofa koja nas je vezala u bol i bacila u tisinu.
i…Mi smo cutali.Uvek smo cutali – porodica profesionalnih cutologa.Smejali smo se retko kao da je to bio nekakav sraman greh koji gusis u sebi. Sve kasnije, vise nije bilo smisla njemu.
Moja sestra I ja morale smo da budemo tihe kada se spremamo za skolu,kada se vracamo, kada gledamo televizor, dok je popodnevni odmor I “svi spavaju!”…bile smo tihe sa bukom u sebi, sa pesmom u grlu, dok smo plakali ili bili zaljubljeni, gutali smo izdisaje, usavrsavali “prstohodanje” i nesvesno pocinjali sa gradnjom zidova oko nasih srca – da ih “zastitimo” ne imajuci nikoga da nas nauci da upravo to vodi u nepovrat. Bilo je kasno! Preko glave zazidani,moji roditelji, nisu nas videli… iako uvek pored nas , u srcu je ostao gorak ukus napustenosti.
Od tada “zidovi”su poceli da se razmnozavaju kao da su jedan drugog radjali: od nasih srca u nase glave, oko nas, od nas,… kroz nasu kucu vise nije moglo da se prodje , ni da se dise…
Razdvojili smo se zauvek da ostanemo tuzni I uguseni nerecenim.
Strana 3
I danas dok setam sa gomilom teskih cigala u svom srcu, po stranom gradu koji je postao moja nova kuca, zveram oko sebe. Uvek sam verovala da zidovi kuca kazuju mnogo, nemi svedoci, upijaci vremena. Dodirujem koji rukom ili se naslonim, ispred je mozda neko cekao nekog, deca ga udarala loptom, ovaj je topao od zivota iznutra, taj ispisan glasnim recima, a onaj opran od kise …ili od suza… prepoznajem nemusti jezik… u meni moji zidovi budni vriste da jednom zauvek izadju I postanu reci ili slike, koje mozda konacno treba poslati u vasionu ,putem do KUCE :u moje srce - da nadje oprostaj.
Page 5
Sloboda
Hoces li slobodu, onda pokusaj prvo osloboditi se sebe samog. Ako je u pogledu znanja vazilo kao vrhovno pravilo: poznaj samog sebe – to u pogledu morala vazi kao vrhovno pravilo : oslobodi se sebe samog!
Hoces li da dodjes do slobode revolucijom, onda podigni revoluciju prvo protiv sebe samog , i uvideces, da cu cve druge revolucije izlisne.
Hoces li da dodjes do slobode ratom, onda povedi prvo rat protiv sebe samog, pa ako ovaj rat uspesno okoncas uvideces, da su svi drugi ratovi izlisni.
Velis, da hoces slobodu? Onda moras stati uz Boga protiv sebe i protiv sveta. Prvo protiv sebe, jer u tebi je i glavno bojiste protiv sveta. Ako pobedis svet tu, u sebi, na glavnom bojistu, pobedio si ga na svim linijama, a ne pobedis ga u sebi samom, on ce ostati nepobedjen u svojoj glavnoj tvrdjavi.
Ako ne pobedis sebe, ti ces svima svojim ostalim naporima uspeti jedino da uskaces iz jedne tamnice u drugu, iz jednog kaveza u drugi. Sloboda drustvena, i sloboda nacionalna, i sloboda drzavna, i sloboda internacionalna, bez oslobodjenja od sebe samog, samo su zavodljiva i lazljiva imena raznih tamnica, raznolikih kaveza.
Oslobodi se sebe samog, i bices van svih tamnica i svih kaveza.
Vladika Nikolaj Velimirovic - O BOGU I O LJUDIMA
Page 6
Moj deda
O, za bombonama iz njegovog desnog dzepa
Page 7
Zamisli me
Zastaje mi dah .
Gde si moj smisle?
Gde si moj vetre?
Ponovo da zivim
u zanosu ja zelim.
N.Sumarac
Page 8
Necu vise da se plasim
Strana 9
1999 god. Beograd je bombardovan i ja sam dosla na Kipar.
Strana 10
Sada kada sam ovde
pocinjem da nevidim razliku dok sam bila tamo
- ista daljina od srca i misli
me odvaja od onoga sto jesam ,
A to je da pronadjem san
koji cu da zivim
- topli dom u mojoj dubini
gde cu da se vracam,
gde moja porodica uvek zivi,
moja ljubav ceka
i ja se zovem Nina.
N.Sumarac
Strana 11
"O, kako ste ljudi moji?
jedna soba drugi svet…
Sanjao sam zutu dunju,
zemlju moju, zelen gaj.
Video sam sjajnu munju,
dalek, dragi zavicaj.
…A onda poce bluz
moja Sumadija peva
…o sreci."
SMAK, Sumadijski blues
Strana 12
Ljubav je radost i ljubav radoscu pomazuje srce covekovo. Ljubav je sila i ljubav silom pomazuje srce covekovo. Ljubav je mir i ljubav mirom pomazuje srce covekovo.A od radosti, sile i mira radja se hrabrost, a ljubav hrabroscu pomazuje srce covekovo.
Vladika Nikolaj Velimirovic - O BOGU I LJUDIMA
Strana 14
Mrtva lica vladaju,
jezikom retkim i nerazumljivim,
i tu nema mesta za tebe.
A kad suze igraju,
razlozi se povlace,
pred iskusenjem da se zaboravi,
I da borba nikad ne,
ne ugasi prolece.
Stulic,AZRA
Strana 17
Draga mama,
Lepo se slazemo i sve je uredu.
Ovde je ponovo toplo
i on se danas kupao u moru.
A ja se davim
u osecanjima da ti sve prenesem
i sum mora,sunce na kozi
i srecu u njegovim ocima dok me gleda
N.Sumarac
Strana 18
Ponekad cujem samo osmeh
i samo jedan tren
tada ti zivis u meni.
I sve reci koje su ti ostale u grlu
ja sam zavrsila recenicama,
ali to nikada nije bila radost
vec samo tuga.
Ponekad cujem samo osmeh
Pravim zastitne oklope
da toplina ne nestane
odmah...
N.Sumarac
Strana 19
Slusam te dok spavas.
I tada znam da nikada necu otici.
-da me taj decak vezao u okove.
Umorna sam.
Ja samo zelim kuci .Ponovo da sanjam.
N.Sumarac
Strana 20
Jutro na obali kao ti i ja,
Napusteni brodovi plivaju nemo…
Stulic,AZRA
Strana 21
Ceznem da ti kazem najdublje reci koje imam reci; ali se ne usudjujem, strahujuci da bi mi se mogla nasmejati.
Zato se smejem sam sebi i odajem tajnu svoju sali.
Olako uzimam bol svoj, strahujuci da bi to mogla ti uciniti.
Ceznem da ti kazem najvernije reci koje imam reci; ali se ne usudjujem, strahujuci da bi mogla posumnjati u njih.
Zati ih oblacim u neistinu, i govorim suprotno onome sto mislim.
Ostavljam bol svoj da izgleda glup, strahujuci da bi to mogla ti uciniti.
Ceznem da upotrebim najdragocenije reci sto imam za te; ali se ne usudjujem, strahujuci da mi se nece vratiti istom merom.
Zato ti dajem ruzna imena i hvalim se svojom surovoscu.
Zadajem ti bol, bojeci se da neces nikada saznati sta je bol.
Ceznem da sedim nemo pored tebe; ali se ne usudjujem, jer bi mi inace srce iskocilo na usta.
Zato brbljam i caskam olako, i zatrpavam svoje srce recima.
Grubo uzimam svoj bol, strahujuci da bi to mogla ti uciniti.
Ceznem da te ostavim zauvek; ali se ne usudjujem, strahujuci da bi mogla otkriti moj kukavicluk.
Zato ponosito dizem glavu i dolazim veseo u tvoje drustvo.
Neprekidne strele iz tvojih ociju cine da je moj bol vecito svez.
R.Tagora GRADINAR
Strana 22
Ako se penjes na moj zid,
tako visoko – tako visoko,
i pogledas dole,
zastrasujuce je.
Maja Delic
Strana 23
Da li me cujes?
nerecima ja pricam.
Moje srce lupa u zvona
da te pozovem:
da me cujes
da me cuvas
da me mazis
Da li me cujes?
bez glasa ja vristim.
N.Sumarac
Strana 24
Mi, kosmonauti srca
jesmo samo blistave niti astralne paucine,
Sto svetlost sveta uznosi i razmece,
po predivnom vrtu nade i smisla.
Strana 27
Najveci greh je ograniciti Bice.
Ne cini To.
Richard Bach
ILUZIJE-Avanture kolebljivog Mesije
Letters
Page 1
Wonderful people lived in my family home. We could have good life…but…something happen : big catastrophe what rapid us with pain and push in to silence.
And… we were silent. We were always silent – a family of professional silentologists.We hardly laughed, as if it was some shameful sin you should stifle inside. As time passed, laughter lost its meaning anyway.My sister and I had to be quiet when we prepared for school, when we returned, when we ate or watched T.V., and at afternoon rest periods when everyone sleeps… We were quiet when we screamed, when we sang inside ourselves, when we cried, or fell in love we were silent; we swallowed our sighs, perfected tiptoeing, and subconsciously built walls around our hearts – to protect them, not having anyone to teach us that it was precisely that which lead to no return. It was to late! Built high above their heads, my parents could not see us…we were left alone.Since then, the walls began to multiply, as if giving birth to each other: from our hearts to our heads, around us, from and through us… and in our house you couldn’t move , you couldn’t breath…We separated, only to remain sad, suffocating from the unsaid.
Page 3
And today as I walk with a pile of bricks in my heart, in a foreign town which is my new home, I stare around me… I always believed that walls of houses say a lot, like silent witnesses, soaked with time. I touch or lean on one… somebody waited for someone here…children must have hit it with a ball ,… this one feels warm with life from inside,… that one’s overwritten with loud words … and the one over there – washed away with rain – or tears… I recognize an unspoken language ; inside me my own walls stir and scream to once and for all , come out and become words or paintings that should finally be sent into the universe: a way home to my heart, to find forgiveness.
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Freedom. If you want freedom, then try to free yourself from your own self first. If the greatest principle of knowledge is to get to know yourself, then the greatest moral principle is to free yourself of your own self. If you want to gain freedom through revolution, then begin your revolution against yourself first, and then you will perceive that all other revolutions are unnecessary. If you want to gain freedom by waging war, then first wage war on yourself, and if you win, then you will perceive that all other wars are unnecessary. You want freedom, you say? Then you must side with God against yourself and the world. First against yourself, because inside of you is the main battle against the world. If you conquer the world there, inside yourself, then you have conquered it on all battlefields. But if you conquer the world on all battlefields except inside your own self, then it will remain unconquered in its main stronghold. If you cannot conquer yourself, then with all your remaining effort you will but only leap from one prison to the next, from one cage into another. Social freedom, and national freedom, and international freedom, without freeing you from yourself, are only tempting and deceptive names of various prisons, and diverse cages. Free yourself of your own self, and you will be outside all prisons and cages. Bishop Nikolaj Velimirovic
Page 6
My grandfather.Oh, those candies from his right pocket!
Page 7
Imagine me.I loose my breath.Where is my meaning,my wind?I want to live in a tranceagain…
Page 8
I don’t want to be scaredanymore.
Page 9
1999 Belgrade was bombed. I came in Cyprus.
Page 10
Now that I am hereI am beginning not to see the differencefrom when I was there…The same distance between the heart and mindseparates me from who I amand that is - a dream I will live:A warm home inside mewhere I can return,where my family (always) lives,my love waits,and I am called Nina.
Page 11
Oh how are you my people-one room, a different world…I dreamt of a yellow quinceAnd my country – a green groveI saw great lightningA dear, far away home……And then the blues began to playmy Sumadia singsof joy. SMAK
Page 12
Love is joy, and love through joy caresses the human heart.Love is power, and love through power caresses the human heart.Love is peace, and love through peace caresses the human heart.And from joy, power, and peace, courage is bornAnd love through courage caresses the human heart. Bishop Nikolaj Velimirovic ABOUT GOD AND PEOPLE
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Dead faces reign over a rare and misconstrued language, but when tears dance, then reasons retreatin front of temptation - to be forgotten, And for the battle, never to extinguish the spring. Stulic,AZRA
Page 17
Dear mom,
We get along fine and everything’s alright. It’s warm again here. He was swimming in the sea today, but me, I’m drowningin, trying to convey everything to you: the sound of the sea, the sun on my skin, and the joy in his eyes while watching me.
Page 18
Sometimes I only hear a smileand then for just a momentyou dwell inside me.And all the words that never left your lipsI ended in sentences -but it was never out of joy,only sorrow.Sometimes I only hear a smile.I make a protective shell -so the warmth doesn’t vanishright away.
Page 19
I listen to him as he sleeps
And then I know that I will never leave
This boy put me in chains.
Tired
I just want to go home and dream again.
Page 20
Morning on the shore
Like you and me,
Abandoned shipsSail silently.Stulic,AZRA
Page 21
I long to tell you the deepest words I have to tell;but I do not dare,from fear that you might laugh.So I laugh at myself, and reveal my secret jokingly.I take my pain lightheartedly, from fear that you might do it.I long to tell you the most sincere words I have to tell;but I do not dare, from fear that you may doubt them.So I adorn them with insincerity and say the opposite of what I think.I leave my pain to seem dumb, from fear that you may do it.I long to use the most precious words I have for you;but I do not dare, from fear that they may not be returned the same.And so I call you by ugly names, praising myself on my brutalityI cause you pain, from fear that you will never discover what pain is.I long to sit silently next to you; but I do not dare,because my heart would spring out of my mouth.So I babble and talk around, and swamp my heart with words.I take my pain roughly, from fear that you may do it.I long to leave you forever; but I do not dare,from fear that you will discover my cowardice.And so I proudly hold my head up high, and join your circle merrily.The never ending arrows from your eyes cause my pain to always remain fresh. R.Tagora
Page 22
If you climb my wall,so high - so high…and you look downit’s terrifying. Maja Delic
Page 23
Do you hear me?Without words I speak
My heart beats with the bellsto call upon you:
to hear me,to protect me,to caress me.
Do you hear me?
Without voice I scream.
Page 27
The greatest sin is in limiting a Being.Do not do It.Richard Bach ILLUSIONS-Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah
“We did not know when NATO will stop bombing Belgrade.
26th April 1999, when I needed to pack my suitcase for escape, i realize that everything I need will stay behind me - my loved ones and my life…
Our real luggage,the life suitcase, is a head full of continuous line of memories, fears and dreams; feelings, thoughts and words that are constantly buzzing inside our brain. ”
Artist.
Unclaimed Luggage, LETTERS HOME 2004
various media installation especially made and presented at international exhibition Nomadifesta at Lusignan Hall, Nicosia, Cyprus; organized by ARTRAGEOUS GROUP on 27. June 2004.
LETTERS HOME
Letters. 2004, instalation
No place Like Home. 2006/08 paintings
My Animal and Othe Families. 2009/10 paintings
Far Away Like Home. from 2011 paintings
FundAmental 2019 poems
".......
Who knows what awaits you there
in the mists from afar.
But even if you become golden,
or all pay in hard,
and bitter,
Still go ahead!
Do not ever come back."
Mika Antic, Unreturnable Song
paragraph from poem written to his son
Original text
"....
Ko zna šta te tamo čeka
u maglama iz daleka.
Al' ako se i pozlatiš,
il' sve teško,
gorko platiš,
uvek idi samo napred.
Nemoj nikad da se vratiš"
Mika Antić, NEPOVRATNA PESMA, odlomak.
.